Be, Just be
by dyehanna1
Summary: What if Bonnie didn't want to come back, What if Damon pulled her back to earth the same way she did to her best friend?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I went into retirement from all things Bamon, but after leaving a review for Esmeralda 312 and going on her tumblr, I decided trying a two part fic won't hurt. So this is kind of dedicated to her. Keep on keeping Baminators and let me no what you think of this.**

Cling

* * *

Amongst the gathered friends and the blond witch, Liv, two pairs of lovers hugged and kissed their significant others but for some reason, there was a disconnect, a divide a shift in the atmosphere of a wonderful reunion or what it was supposed to be and feel like.

Jeremy held Bonnie in a tight embrace; his back was against Elena who was smothering her prodigal boyfriend with kisses and hugs. Damon's body was there with his girl but his mind was absent, he could not stop looking at the witch who was just managing to hide her anger and annoyance. Yes, they were finally home but it didn't feel like home anymore. The vampire extended his hand out, he knew he was wrong, God he was wrong for what he did, she did not want to come back but he took her choice away. When they finally found an ancient seraph, he found them an out and gave them a choice between staying or leaving, Damon was happy, Bonnie, not so much.

She told him she was at peace, she did not want to go back, and Damon had made it clear he would not leave without her. Bonnie insisted that she would not change her mind and they agreed to disagree. When the time came to depart, they said their goodbyes, or so she thought.

He stepped across the newly created threshold between heaven and purgatory; he reached out his hand for a final handshake '_common, it's just a goodbye to an old friend_.' She had reached out to him because in all the time spent together and since their deaths, he had not given her any reason not to trust him. They shook hands but when she tried to pull back, she found herself being thrust forward, toward him. '_No….no_.'

She had tried to step back into the white background but she was shutout. There was a transparent barrier preventing her from reentering the kingdom. She did not get a chance to confront the fanger, she suddenly felt herself falling into nothing, and then boom! There they were, facing the loves of their lives inside the Gilbert family home.

This was Damon's fault, he dragged her back to hell on earth, kicking and screaming and then he had the audacity to try and hold her hand as if he hadn't just betrayed her. Tears were starting to line up at the tip of her eyelids, she was so angry she had to stop looking at him. She didn't want to do anything to stir up controversy, as much as she wanted to say fuck you all, she didn't want Jere and her friends to feel bad.

Ain't that something? In a way or two, she was still the same Bonnie; the one saw to it that everyone was okay. But she would not do it anymore, not this time. She detangled herself from Jeremy's suffocating love grip and headed for the door.

The startled yet relieved boy wondered why the sudden detachment happened. "Bonnie?"

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." She walked out of the warm house into cold night, slamming the door so hard that the whole house shook.

The younger boy was going to pursue her but Damon stopped him. "I'll go after her."

* * *

She was angry, she was livid; she was mumbling spells she didn't know before. She unexpectedly found herself trekking as fast her bronze legs would go in the pouring rain.

His clothes stuck to his body like glue on paper, his hair stuck to his face like gum on shoe. He felt slightly uncomfortable, but he took longer strides and caught up with her in no time. He was right behind her, she could hear his footsteps, and she started running.

He sped up to her and caught her by her left hand, bringing her to an unwanted halt. "Bonnie. I'm so sor-" he did not get to finish; he felt his bottom lip being jammed between his teeth. She slapped him so hard; for a moment, he thought he had gone blind from the backhanded slap. It was quite painful that he had no choice but to drop her hand so he could rub his face.

Yes they had had fights before, she had lit him ablaze before, she had given him aneurysms before but never had she raised her hand against him. For a good moment, he wanted to vamp out, but he took a deep breathe.

She began walking again, this time; they walked at the same pace.

"I trusted you."

"Bonnie, I was wrong. Forgive me."

"I trusted you Damon."

"I didn't have a choice; I had to bring you back for Jeremy and Elena."

Now those famous words brought her to her standstill. She faced him, eye to first for the first time since their miraculous arrival. "I'm not some pillow to be fluffed for Princess Elena's comfort and I'm not so toy to be bought from the store to appease Prince Jeremy because could get the real toy he wanted."

He was stunned by the hypocrisy of the young girl who once forced Elena to pass through her. "Bonnie you would have done the same; actually you have done the same twice."

The pouring rain melded with her tears while she shook her head as if they were different. "Shut up!" A thunderous lighting raced across the dark sky. "We are not the same, and you're done talking. You're a traitor, you don't get to justify your selfish actions. After all we have been through in death, how could you do this to me?" Crickets, he looked at his feet and said nothing, he felt like a boy being chastised by his mother. "Answer me bastard." She yelled.

Gah, didn't just tell him not to talk? "Because I held your hand and took my last breath with you, because you were the only one that kept me sane over there, because you told me you felt like your life ended before it began and because I never want to live without you." He stepped closer to her and stroked her face. "So I did the selfish thing, because you left me no choice, because you would have done the same thing for me."

She smacked his hand and watched it slide down his side. She pouted and spat out with malice, "You don't want my forgiveness." He shook his head to say no. She chuckled. "Because I, because I, because I. Me. Me. Me." she continued, "it's all about what you want isn't it. Could you be any more selfish than you already are?"

"Yes. I want to be more selfish for you, with you. We were us, just us Bonnie, and we were…the things that….." he stopped talking due to shortage of words to express himself. "I saw that we stood a chance to be happy and alive together and I took it."

"You did not have that right Damon." She wagged her second finger at him, her resentment caused her to tremble. "It wasn't just your chance to take. We had a deal, whatever we thought we felt, whatever happened or didn't happen after the implosion was supposed to stay over there with me."

"I didn't plan to take your choice away, it just happened, but I'm not sorry that you're here."

For a second, he spoke with such conviction that she was lost in his eyes, she had to shake herself out of his spell-filled words. She took a step back then began a dramatic slow slap. "What an Oscar worthy performance. I may have fallen for your lies if I was a novice."

"There's only one God above us Bonnie, its name is the truth. You are the one person I have never hidden the truth from. You are sacred to me, that's why couldn't let go of you."

"You just don't get it do you?" Everyone has ever who loved and cared about me is dead. I have no one."

Those words rang true but they also made his face turn grey with anger. "I love you, I care about you. What about me, don't I count?

"You don't count Damon; I can't allow this to happen."

"This?"

"This. Us, whatever the fuck we are. I can't be an understudy in this horrific Broadway show you call romance, I can't get excited just because you just feel like sampling a new variety of snack. I have been down this road before, loving someone who did not love me the way I wanted to be loved and that shit hurt like a bitch. Having to compete with your brother for a girl, twice, I thought you of all people would know what it feels like to be second best."

"This is not a competition between you and Elena. You are not second best"

"Did you see Elena's face when first saw you? It was filled with gratitude, and relief and joy and love and-"

"No I hardly saw her face, you were the only one I was looking at, no one else mattered. Bonnie, is this about Elena?"

"This is not about Elena, I'm doing this for the sake of my self-preservation, I have to let go of you. For the first time, I have made the decision to put my feelings in order and choose myself, please myself and love myself above anyone else. I can't cling to you, I can't cling to anyone…not anymore"

He clutched the left side of his chest and strummed it loudly for her to hear. "You have me right where you want me so let me…Since you are terrified of the idea of us, I'll let you know that I have no shame in being a clingy man, let me cling to you till you feel assured enough to known that I'd never walkout on you. You don't have to do anything but be…just be. Just let me cling to you till you're comfortable and confident enough to hold back on to me. Bonnie till…."

"No." she said with finality, "what you did was disgusting, I don't think I can deal with it."

Even though he could see fear mixed with disgust in her expression but he was hell bent on craving his words in her soul. "You may be mad and disgusted at me but I think you are more disgusted with yourself. Because even though you'll never admit it, you have feelings for me, you want me Bonnie. God damn it witch! I know you'd rather die by a thousand blades than confess to loving me." He grabbed the sides of her face then stooped lower to place a long, slow, chaste kiss on her lips. He felt her hands, they felt uncertain, yet they held on softly to his waist. She was not returning the kiss neither was she pushing him away. He spoke almost breathlessly, "what I did was wrong, but it hasn't stopped you from loving me, you still love me, now deal with that."

He vanished into the pouring rain with wasp speed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you Baminators for reading and supporting this story with your follows, favs and reviews, I really appreciate them. I do not own "my boyfriend's back, it was sang by ****Raveonettes. ****There's one more chapter left after this. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

Testify

Being stranded in another dimension meant missing out on life, college, friends, boys, sex and then some. A whole year of her life just went poof and boy! Does she have a lot of catching up to do? The young witch had just finished Her nutrition 101 class; it was an essential course in forwarding her plans to be dietitian and owning her own gym. She was going to put the life insurance/inheritance from her dad and dead grandparents to good use.

She treaded heavily out of the classroom, feeling a little drained; the course itself was not difficult but the attitude of the professor was a pill to swallow. She had an hour to waste on lunch at the school canteen, she looked up and there was Damon and Elena, huddled together, sitting and talking in low voices. She wondered what they were conversing about, not that she cared; maybe she did a little.

She was going to sit with her newly made friends but then she changed her mind, she really hadn't talked with Damon since they got back, he was giving her '_space_.' Fuck space, she wasn't sure she liked what she was seeing, she may not want to acknowledge it but she was jealous, she had to run an interference between those two even if it killed her pride. She threw her books on their table, disturbing the dual. "Hey guys. Look about the other night-"

"You don't have to apologize." Elena interrupted.

"I was not going to apologize. I was going to say that since I ruined the dinner you planned last week by not showing up, I was just going to ask for a do over, my treat."

What the fuck, the witch was acting like the best thing since sliced bread since she came back. This new take no prisoner Bonnie was beginning to irritate the female vamp and she could barely hide her annoyance. "Right, what was I thinking? Bonnie Bennett can do no wrong."

"I'm trying to extend an olive branch here, but it looks like unless I'm dying to save you then there's no winning with you Lena, so forget I said anything, bye." She stopped mid-way and intentionally sent a sly smile to Damon. "Hi you, see you around."

Damon could barely keep his eyes off Bonnie's retreating figure; all the same, he kept talking to Lena. "I know you're pissed at me but can you just give her a chance? She's still your friend; she's just trying to figure out where she fits in again."

_Oh, she's fitting in alright, and she wants to fit in your pants_. "The Bonnie I knew would never have feelings for you, she always puts me first. If she doesn't give you up, then she's not the same Bonnie I knew."

"And I'm not the same guy you loved. A lot can change in a year."

"Yes. A lot can change like going from not giving a damn about her to professing your everlasting love for her. Has she even told you she loves you?" Elena squinted her eyes and took a wild guess. "No." Now that's the Bonnie she knew. "So you are in this one sided relationship by yourself. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"What am I doing?"

"I'm not blind and if I was, I would still feel the tension between you and I. It's always constant. It's always going to be me, you said you could never let anyone but me in your heart, didn't you?"

"Do you think I was looking to fall for someone else? Bonnie snuck in like a thief in the night and I couldn't even prevent it from happening.

She rolled her eyes. "If she snuck in like a thief in the night then perhaps she should be shot like one." She paused and made a fist, she almost couldn't believe she just said that but this was a battle of the hearts and the worst part was that he sounded and looked completely smitten by her best friend.

"What I feel for her is an all-consuming kind of love, all I have to offer you is a hand of friendship?"

She slapped the table, causing everyone around to stop and stare before carrying out with their respective activities. "Well, you can stick that hand up your ass because I don't want to be your friend now just like you didn't want to be my friend before everything went to hell. You loved me and for some reason, you stopped. I know people tend to get together when all they have is each other; I also think this is just a fleeting feeling. Damon you are just conflicted about her, you still love me, and the Damon I know would never hurt or betray me."

This was the girl he chased for years, this was the girl he stole from his brother, this was the girl he once pledged his allegiance to but somehow his heart left her. He wanted them to part ways amicably but she was just making it hard for him. He just wanted her to understand that what they had was special but there was no possibility of him reciprocating her feelings the way he used to.

He wanted to leave her with as much dignity as possible. "Babe, what we had in friendship was special; can we just go back to that. Your romantic happiness with me will be short lived because I'm not in love with you anymore. I won't be able to commit myself to you, I don't want you to be anyone's second choice, not even mine. I care about you enough not to lead you on. With Bonnie, even when we are at odds, she makes me happy, she's the one."

"How can you say that so easily, how do you know? I used to be the one for you so what makes you so certain she's the one?"

"I won't spend all day trying to make you understand but when you know, you just know."

"Bonnie doesn't even like vampires, how can she love one? You are going to get hurt."

He yelled out for everyone to hear, "maybe I want to get hurt because it's worth the risk."

"She doesn't want you though and you can't make someone want you, I should know all about that."

That was where Elena was wrong but he would still take the high road. "I still have to try."

"Doesn't that leave you at her mercy? You're setting yourself up for a heart break."

He rubbed his hands together and got up; having the same conversation for three weeks was becoming stale. "Thanks for caring, I'll take my chances." He casually buffed his index finger against her pinky. "You will find that amazing guy who will move the world for you because he's going to be crazy in love with you. He will give you the life that you deserve."

She smiled to herself because at least she knew she tried, she fought for him the only way she knew how to yet, she was finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that he loved someone else. "I'm a little hurt because I still have feelings for you so it'll take a while for me to rid myself of all residual feelings. I want you to be happy and even though I think the new Bonnie is a bitch; but she's who you want so I'll find a way to be fine with it. Just give me some time to get over you."

"Okay and thanks. Whatever happens, I hope the three of us can remain friends."

His ex managed to withhold the tears threatening to burst out and nodded. _Friends? Fuck his friendship. _"Okay then." She got up and pushed her chair back with her foot, she had an almost deranged determined look in her eyes it nearly frightened Damon. "We should all have dinner together to celebrate you guys' homecoming."

"I'm sure Bonnie would like that. She may not act like it but she misses her friends, she misses you."

She signed, _no she doesn't miss me, that bitch ain't loyal_. "Can you just give me an idea, what is it about her that you find irresistible? I have to know why I'm losing you. What is so great about her that is taking you away from me?"

He was just at the end of his rope with her. "Sometimes you don't need a reason to love someone, you just do and you can't help it because you realize that they are that missing link in your life. But if you must know why, one of the reasons is because she has a big heart." He closed his eyes while a small smile danced at the tip of his lips, "Her heart is bigger than the sun. She's like a warm refuge you can run into and hide, she's the shelter that just covers everyone under it." by now he had a solemn look on his face, "She keeps me warm and I would like to think that I can do the same for her because I just don't ever want to leave."

* * *

A few hours after taking to Elena, Alaric had called Damon, Bonnie was in the hospital, all he heard was that she was drunk and she fell from a three-story building while meeting her mom. However, he knew better, she did not fall, she jumped.

When he got to the hospital, she had just placed in intensive care, both of her legs were broken and she was high on morphine for pain management. She was shamelessly flirting with the cute male nurse that was attending to her but once she saw Damon, she started laughing, waving at him and singing my boyfriend's back by **Raveonettes** in an off-key tune.

_He's been gone for such a long time  
Hey la, hey la my boyfriend's back  
Now he's back and things will be fine  
Hey la, hey la my boyfriend's back  
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born  
Hey la, hey la my boyfriend's back  
Cause he's kinda big and he's aweful strong  
Hey la, hey la my boyfriend's back-  
_

While morphine was doing wonderful things to uplift her spirits, he compelled the nurse to leave, fed her his blood and beamed as her voice faded into the background. He had a lot of work to do to clean up the mess she made or she might just end up getting committed to a psych ward.

* * *

Bonnie thought to herself, couples have gotten married today; lovers have sojourned on honeymoons for a short while, and perhaps some babies have been born out of love today. _I will love you forever_, isn't that the lie people tell each other. Love, there was no such thing as an untainted, unconditional or everlasting love in Bonnie's dictionary.

Come what may, parents are supposed to love their kids but parents are the same as everyone else; they want something back in return. I love you if …I love you if do.. …I love you if you are….there is always a condition attached. People often want what they can get out of love; they hardly consider what they can give.

They had abandoned his car because she wanted to take the long way home, she wanted to walk off some of her emotional agony; but when her feet got weary, he carried her, just as he had for the past year.

The last time she got a piggy back ride on earth was when her mom left, she cried all night and the only thing that comforted her was clinging to her father's back but now he's dead. However, this was different, this was nice, this was romantic and this was safe.

Damon's back felt like home, a refuge she could run to. He has become a place she could hide, a tower strong enough to protect her from the heat of the day and the chill of the night. She could get used to this; she did not want to leave.

He woke her from her thoughts. "You're a pain in the ass, do you know how many people I had to compel tonight? Fuck it witch! Why did you jump?"

"Liquid courage made me think it was a good idea until I landed on the ground with broken bones. One main regret I had laying there was that I hadn't fucked you yet."

He wondered what she would be like, feel like in bed. Oh! The things they could do to each other. Clearly, she was trying to divert his attention but he decided to stay the course. "You still haven't answered my question. Did you think I brought you back to life so you could die on me again?"

She flicked the back of his head with her middle finger, "ouch," he whined, it hurt a little.

"I forgive you, from bringing me back without my permission. And you were right, I would have done the same for you whether you liked it or not."

"Thanks for your forgiveness. Now let's go back to your attempted suicide. Why did you do it?"

"Because I found out why my mother left."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Abby never wanted kids, not with dad anyways."

"I don't get it."

"Ha." She let out a painful laughter that sent a bad vibration down his spine. "She was a closet lesbian in love with Elena's mom; Miranda was bi but she was torn between Grayson and Abby but she ultimately chose him. Miranda had a difficult time conceiving so she was looking to adopt; there was a premonition about how much danger would surround the Isobel's five week old baby bump once it was born." The young witch smiled vindictively. "So you know what my mother did, she got herself knocked up then married dad except that dad didn't know he was being used as a beard. She had me knowing that I'll be a witch, knowing that we'd be friends, knowing that I'd want to protect Elena. Apparently, my sole purpose for being born was to be loyal to Elena."

"I'm so-"

"Shh," she hushed him; she hadn't reached the good part yet. "Somehow, she assumed that since she had proven her unwavering love for Miranda, they would both get a divorce but no, Miranda would not entertain the idea because being with another woman was frowned upon by the society. When she realized that her designer baby could not save her clandestine relationship, she jumped town and left me behind as a parting gift."

"I'm sorry about your mom; she doesn't deserve your tears. She's a bitch anyway."

"Hey!"

"Sorry but she is a bitch. If you want, I can kick her ass out of town,"

"No need for that, she already left, it's what she does best."

"Bon Bon?"

"Hmmm." She groaned in his back.

"I have loads of cash, I'm good looking, I have a terrible temper sometimes."

"Sometimes?

"Fine, a little more than sometimes, this leaves me with a whole lot of nothing to offer you. But I can offer you this."

"What?"

"All of me, everything I am and everything I can be. I want to be a better man for myself so that I can be better for you."

"Damon?"

"Yes judgy." He answered.

"For how long do you think you can love me?"

"For as long as the sky covers the earth." He laughed out loud at himself, "God that was so fucking cheesy wasn't it?"

She giggled. "Maybe, but I thought it was sweet. May I have all of you with a scoop of strawberry ice cream please?"

A certain sense of calm and relief washed all over him, "Yes you may."

"Damon?" This time she wrapped herself tighter around his moving body.

"Hmmm."  
They were almost in front of her house when she whispered, "I missed you."

"Good, it would suck if you didn't. I thought you were going to keep being a – haaa." He suffered a tiny jolt of migraine. "I wasn't going to say that but now I might as well call you a –haaa" she zapped him again. "That's it." He shook her of his back. "Ride is over, I'm not a horse." Once her feet were on the ground he began a power walk, she jogged after him.

"Oh common, let me kiss you to make it feel better." She offered.

He was tempted but he was going to deny her. "Nope, no sweet kisses for you."

"Since when did you begin turning down kisses from me? You love my lips, both of them; especially when you had dinner at lady town." She whined. _(She meant he went down on her before)_

He slowed down and smirked, "that was desert."

"Well, you wanna have dinner on me tonight? Full course meal."

"No." he insisted.

"Why not?" she just did not understand what point he was trying to prove.

"Because I only want to hold your hands tonight."

She hissed her teeth at him, grabbed his hand and interlaced it with hers. "There." She then tugged her hand off his. "Are we gonna fuck now or what?"

"No we are not. Abstinence and respect is the key Bennett."

She let out a muffled scream as she climbed the front stairs to the front door of her new house. "Are you kidding me? I want the slutty Damon back because I want to do slutty things with him. If anyone in the whole wide world has earned the right to be slutty, it's me. I don't want you to respect me tonight, you know it's been a year since I've had some decent sex and I'm bloody horny. Why are you holding out on me?"

He grabbed her shoulder to hold her in place and curb her erratic body movements. He starred into her eyes, "Because I want to court you." Those words felt like magic. For the first time in a long time, she felt seen, Damon really saw her. She felt emotional, but she didn't want it to show. He silently watched her open the door, he kissed her cheek. "I won't come in tonight," he paused then continued, "Because I'm in love with you. Goodnight babe."

She didn't say anything, she scurried inside instead and shut the door behind her then slowly slithered down the mahogany wood. All the tears she was holding in all night came flooding out like a broken river dam. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shitshitshitshit. SHIT." She screamed and curled into a ball of fur on the cold floor, but it was okay, because she could finally let out the air she didn't know she was holding. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number; it only needed to ring once.

He picked it up. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm only going to say this once then I'll hang up." He could hear her sniffling in the background. "I love you Damon, I'm in love with you too."

"Good."

She heard a knock on her front door, she darted up to open it, and there he was standing in front of her with his baby blue eyes, pleading with her sea green ones. "Now say it to my face."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for reading and leaving reviews, I wanted to end it with a nice little ribbon. I'm thinking of writing a sequel, it may or may not happen. Let me know what you think.

* * *

**Eternity**

For the hundredth time in the same day, Damon and Elena were arguing over stupid things at the boarding house. Both of them knew the real reason for the argument was because Elena wasn't ready to let go. Gosh! Doesn't she know that it takes two to be in a relationship but it only takes one to break things off?

Neither of them remembered why the screaming started but it all came down to Damon being treacherous pig and Bonnie being a home wrecker that doesn't want to hang out with the Scooby Doo gang as much as she used to. Little Gilbert did not know what he walked into, he just assumed it was a lovers spat. He cleared his throat noisily. If you two are done with your foreplay, Lena, do you know where mom's emerald ring is? I can't seem to find it."

"It's in my jewelry box, why?"

A big grin swiftly infected his face. "Bonnie is back and I want to get things back on track, I want to show her I'm serious and I'm in for the long-haul I'm going to ask her to marry me."

The arguing twosome gasp in unity, "what?"

Damon was inwardly furious but he maintained a cool outward appearance. "Jeremy…dude, she's been away for over a year, I don't think that popping the question will do anyone any good. Besides, I don't think judgey is ready for such a huge commitment."

He knew it, he knew it, he knew it! The vampire and whatever happened in the other dimension was the reason Bonnie had been hot and cold with him. "And what do you know about my girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend." Damon wanted to burst into a fit of laughter but he settled for a suppressed a soft giggle. "I know enough to understand that she has a list of goals she wishes to achieve in life and being Mrs. Gilbert may be the last thing on her mind."

Elena meditated within herself, what would Katherine do? She cut her eyes at her love sick ex; this could actually work in her favor. She opened her purse and handed the key to her box over to her brother. "I think you two would build an amazing home together. Don't let fear hold you back Jere, go for it. You are Bonnie's first love and no one can change that. You know what? Since we are throwing a welcome back party tonight, you should make it a surprise proposal."

She glanced at Damon, he appeared nervous; perhaps he should be after all Bonnie died to bring Jeremy back to life. As far as Elena was concerned, the fight was not over yet, she still had one last Hail Mary pass left in her and she didn't care about the possibility of her brother getting rejected. Since he would ask her in public, Bonnie will feel too sorry to turn him down and that will buy her little more time to work on Damon.

* * *

The new couple walked in arm in arm to the party. With the exception of the Gilberts, most of their friends just assumed that they were merely being friendly with each other; after all, death has the ability to bring the worst of foes together. They all seemed naïve or perhaps, they simply decided to turn a blind eye on the possibility of a budding romance between the pair as they were not overly affectionate with each other. However, Elena Gilbert saw the pink giant elephant in the room. With her plan, she had hoped that she would come out smelling like roses after dragging her brother through shit but to her disappointment, her plans didn't go quite as she had wished.

Instead of saying yes to Jeremy and inadvertently handing Damon over, Bonnie did a roundabout maneuver. Unknown to others that the witch had been forewarned by her new flame, she smiled and acted surprised as she watched the younger man spew his bullshit about together forever, love, family, kids blah blahblah only to laugh in his face and say no. She blatantly told him she didn't want those things with him. Jeremy was so humiliated he had to leave before people could start consoling him about his failed proposal.

Elena was floored, angry and yes very bitter. She felt like she had turned Damon into a better man only for her best friend to sweep in and claim him. She was going to make a big stink about it but Bonnie silenced her with magic, she just did not wish to hear the doppelganger run her mouth.

It would be an understatement to say that Damon was giddy with happiness, however, that moment of elation evaporated when she grabbed his hand and squeeze it as they left the gathering. She asked, "Promise me you'd never ask me to marry you."

He glanced at the caramel beauty with the corner of his eyes and he wondered, was Elena right? Was Bonnie at flight risk in their relationship? All of his ex's poisonous words flooded his brain, _whatever you did to get her are the things you must do to keep her, you are just a phase she's going through and you may be good enough to fuck but you are not good enough for her to marry. _Her words yanked out the strings of insecurity he thought he had buried. He squeezed her hand back. "I promise."

* * *

6 months later

Caroline's mom was getting married again; Bonnie was sitting in the front pew with Caroline by her side. They may be pretending to listen to Reverend Father Raymond's sermon but Bonnie was laying her grievances with Damon at Caroline's feet in hushed tones.

"He's courting me, do you believe that shit? It's been six motherfucking months and a girl can't get a dick." She spat out in anger of sexual frustration.

Bonnie looked obviously pissed and the blonde-haired young lady was doing her best to appease her friend. "That doesn't sound like Damon. Did at least tell you why?"

"Apparently he and Elena were about lots of sex and zero substance, he doesn't want to make the same mistake twice."

Caroline glanced over her shoulders and saw Damon about five rows away from them; he winked at her to make sure she knew that he could hear them. "Bonnie, sweetie, sometimes guys get cold feet when they are with someone new, he just needs a little motivation. Go out there and put your foot down."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now. Seize the moment."

Bonnie nervously nodded her head and shot the male vampire a short text that instantly got him on his feet. He was walking down the left wing of the church when he felt his whole body being snatched into the confession booth. He was going to leave when she grabbed the back of his suit and dragged him backwards then shoved him against the wall of the small room. "Where do you think you're going?"

She sighed and took a few steps back. He threaded softly, closer, observing her every move diligently, stalking her like a wild cat would an innocent prey. His fingers pirouetted into the curve of her waist, thus making every single hair on her body rise in attention. "What do you want?" The moment her breath got shaky, he knew he had his fingers on her pulse; he was definitely going to push as far as he could get. He softly bit into her left earlobe, gently dragging his teeth down that sensitive part. The discreet moan that escaped her lips made him even surer of himself. "Let me take a wild guess. You want my body don't you?"

She hated being turned on by his slight vulgarity in his tone. "Stop talking Damon."

"And do what?"

"Fuck this shit, do you want me or not." She trembled.

He delivered little indulgent bites on her neck. "I'm always willing. I just want to know what you want."

"Surprise me." She challenged him.

He palmed her butt, using one hand to lift her up into the cushioned confessional seat. Her half-closed eyes saw his hands push her mini dress up and her underpants down. He leaned forward, to mock-kiss her, she was eager for their lips to collide; however, he bypassed her lips, slowly brushed his hair off from his face and got on his knees with a smirk on his lips. He balanced her legs on his shoulders, the open thigh kisses that followed made her limbs shiver; she had no choice but to tilt her head back and hold the to him for dear life.

Both parties were so lost in their bodily pleasures, Damon doing the giving and Bonnie doing the receiving that they had no idea they were about to receive a spectator. Reverend Sister Martha opened the confessional door, the sight before her was astonishing. She was quite intrigued to watch the young witch throw her head backwards with her hands buried in Damon's dark mane whilst being orally pleasured.

The scent that filled the air and the sight of a vigorous young man worshiping at the altar of his lover's pussy gob smacked Sister Martha. Her eyes almost fell out of their sockets as she watched the younger woman grit her teeth so as not to make a noisy sound whilst reaching a fulfilling end. Martha let out a low "Jesus Christ. Fornicators are desecrating the house of the lord."

Bonnie's eyes snapped wide open. She gasped but while she intended to push Damon away, she clamped her thighs shut with his head stuck between as if the secrets of the universe were somewhere in there. Damon had a little bit of struggle trying to remove his head from her tense dominant thighs.

Bonnie quickly slid down the seat then hastily pulled down her dress to protect her modesty. She was so embarrassed she wanted to run out ahead of him. He drew her back and held her hand so they could exit together. As they began to head out of the confession room, Martha put her palms of her hands together began to say a prayer for the couple. "O loving and kind God, have mercy. Have pity upon them and take away the awful stain of their transgressions. Oh, wash them, cleanse them from this guilt. Let them be pure again."

Damon curled his arm across Martha's shoulders, "With all due respect Sister," he kissed her cheek with the same mouth he just used on Bonnie. "Shut the fuck up. I knew you were here, you watched me get my girlfriend off the whole time and there's a tell sign on your face at that voyeurism is your thing but hey, who am I to judge? I have no shame in my game. You should try sex sometime, it's liberating."

The couple bumped into Caroline on their way out of the church. She noticed the blush on her friend's face. Damon whispered in her ears, "I'll give you guys time to catchup and talk about me. I won't be offended; it's what you girls do." He vanished and left the girls to themselves.

"What is he talking about?" Bonnie didn't answer, neither could she keep a straight face. Care gasped when what took place in the church dawned on her. Her curly hair bounced around her shoulders as she squealed with excitement. "No way! In the church? At the confession booth? You dirty little whore." She cheered with her hands and gasped again with a smirk. "Welcome to the sluts are us club, I'm so proud of you. Now, tell me more, tell me more. Tell me every dirty little scandalous detail."

* * *

**Eight years later**

Caroline peeked at Bonnie's phone, looking at it made her exasperated. "Three hundred sixty nine missed calls in a week Bon, this is borderline obsessive. What he said was wrong but it came from a place of hurt, you know he's mostly worried about you. please talk to him, both of you are miserable and you know it."

"He said being with Lena was easier, it made me feel like I was back in her shadows again."

"Well you are not and let's be honest Elena lost her identity to be with Damon so of course being with her was easier. He loves you, he chose you, and he chooses you every day. So go home, make up and heal each other's heart and soul."

Bonnie slumped on her best friend's couch. "Today's his birthday; it's the first one we are spending apart since we got together."

"This is the perfect opportunity to make up; did you get him a gift?"

"I burnt it into ashes. Do you think he'd be annoyed?"

"There's only one way to find out. Common, I'll drive."

* * *

Alaric passed his buddy another glass of bourbon, he wasn't sure what was going on with his friend but he knew it had something to do with the vamp's home life. "Hey birthday boy! So you and Bonnie are eight years strong hmm?"

"Yep. Happy couple." He sneered sarcastically.

"Isn't it time you popped the question, tie this chick down before she discovers what a sick bastard you are and flees Mystic Falls?"

"I can't. She made me promise never to ask her. Besides we had a big fight weeks ago and she left."

"About what?"

"Sex and kids." Bonnie was able to create a temporary spell that would allow Damon to be half-human when they get intimate. "She asked if I was ready to try again, I said no. we both said things we shouldn't have and she left."

"What did you say?"

"I told her sex with her was bland, it's like a chore." He crinkled his nose, "I may have said something about Elena and she may have said something about Jeremy."

"I thought you said you guys were really compatible in that area."

"We were, we are. You just don't understand. We have to keep up with her ovulation calendars, drop whatever we're doing, screw in specific positions and when it's done, you can just tell she's going through the motion. It's not just the scientific part of it; the spell takes a lot out of her physically so much so that she once vomited blood and she passed out while we were doing it." his eyes grew dark, a few grey veins made a brief appearance then disappeared in an instant. "Ric, you know there's nothing I want more than to have a family with her, I'm trying to make her understand that maybe we are trying too hard but all she hears is-"

"That you don't want to have kids with her." Alaric patted his friend at the back to comfort him. "She still sees the cup half empty."

"Lucy said the first trimester is the hardest, if the baby can make it through that then all will be okay but she has never been able to carry the baby for more than a few weeks. I just don't know what to do because I'm losing her right now and I don't think our relationship can survive another miscarriage. She took the last one so hard; she was depressed and it was impossible to get her out of bed. If Caroline had not be here, I don't know what I would have done." Ric watched helplessly as his friend covered his face with his hands in defeat. "I just have this bad feeling that she's going to leave me then settle for a human."

"No she won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. She knows what a sick bastard you are and she allowed herself to become a hybrid just to be with you. Now suck it up and get ready for your birthday dinner. I wonder what you'll get this year. God knows Bonnie gives the best gifts."

Damon's eyes lit up with elation. "She's coming?"

"Caroline will get her here."

"Yes." He punched the air in delight then composed himself. "I just miss her so much, I hate that she's mad at me."

"Jeez dude, she left for two seconds and you're here crying in your milk." Ric heard a sound of Caroline's mustang right outside the door, "rejoice baby Damon, it looks like mummy's home."

"Shut the fuck up Ric." He zoomed to upstairs to get dressed.

* * *

She walked in while he was getting clad; she went to the closet and picked out a cerulean frost blue tie. She sauntered to where he stood, popped up the collar of his shirt and began to drape the silk material around his neck. "So I canceled the dinner invites we sent out."

"Oh."

"Are you mad?"

"No. I'm just disappointed."

"I'm sorry; I was just hoping that we could clear the air."

"Bonnie." "Damon." They called each other's name at the same time.

"You go first D."

"I'm sorry about what I said; I shouldn't have brought my ex into this. Love and finding a balance between two conflicting personalities takes hard work. I know being a mom is important to you, it's important to me too but I just don't want you to feel like we have to have our own kids in order to be a family. We can adopt, foster or find a surrogate but if you still insist on carrying it, all I'm asking is for you to give it more time. Give your body a chance to recover, let's find each other again before we bring a life into this world."

"Okay D."

"What?"

"I said okay. I'm sorry I didn't think of how trying to have a child has affected you, I was only thinking of myself." She straightened out the freshly knotted tie. "There, it's all done. By the way I forgot to get you a present."

"Shocking." He bugged out his eyes in sarcasm. "You didn't forget, you set probably set it on fire then decided not to get me another one."

She cringed knowing that he had found her out. "How did you know?"

"Because I love you and I also know how petty you can be." He had said those words in a lighthearted manner; she had no choice but to laugh. He wrapped his hands around her waist, "I like this."

"What?"

"I like seeing and hear you laugh. We haven't been like this in a while."

"Like what?"

He began to tickle her while she laughed helplessly. "Happy."

* * *

**One year later**

Bonnie and Damon had just returned from his birthday dinner, it was a private reservation just for the two of them and everything was going well until he proposed. She flat out said no and there was no convincing her otherwise. They had a long pensive drive home, each one keeping to their respective side of the car and their individual thoughts to themselves. Saying he was pissed was an understatement, he was fuming with anger. Nine years of living together meant they were pretty much married but no, she did not want the ring. From his point of view, saying no meant she wanted the option of being able to walk away with ease if things went south.

He blamed himself for proposing just as much as he blamed her for shutting him down. Seeing the way she told Jeremy off in front of their friends, he should have known better. Knowing that she had told him about the marital failures of all the Bennett women, he should have known better.

Once he pulled over in the driveway, he got out of car and banged the door shut behind him. He didn't bother to open her door like he normally would, not that she way waiting for him to do so. He got upstairs and took a deep breathe, wondering if the end was near for them.

Once she walked into their room, he was about to take off but she grabbed his forearm, "It's not much but this is for you, that's if you want it." she handed him a birthday card and went to the kitchen to make some tea.

He ripped the envelop open. _Just fucking great_. When did she become a lousy gifter?

He opened it and the first page read, "Do you love me?"

He yelled from the room, knowing his voice would echo through their home. "Of course I fucking love you."

He turned the next page, it read "Will you stay with me for eternity even when I'm moody?"

He screamed louder "Of course I want to spend eternity with you. Why did fuck did you think I proposed to you."

He was so pissed off that he began to march downstairs. He wanted to shred the item that contained the offending questions, however, he turned the to the last page. There was a picture of a baby sonogram labelled sixteen weeks on top of it. Under the sonogram, it read, "Will you marry us?" It felt as if time froze.

He rushed downstairs; he found her waiting with a tear stained face. His eyes roamed around her and took in her sight, she was glowing and he saw a barely noticeable baby bump for the first time. "Do you really mean this witch, you want to marry me?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I wanted to ask at the restaurant but you beat me to it. I said no becau-"

Damon was too thrilled; he simply crashed his lips onto hers. "Yes. Yesyesyes. I'll marry you." he kissed her again and I'm sorry for being a dick." He kissed her again. "You won't change your mind will you?"

She took his hand and placed it on her belly. "No, you're stuck with us now."

He pressed his hand firmly on her stomach and got on his knee and placed his left ear against her belly, he could a loud heartbeat thanks to his supernatural abilities. He managed to get out a few words amidst his own tears. "Hi little one, it's your daddy."

Bonnie gently caressed his head to comfort him.

He got up and just engulfed her in a warm embrace. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we had given up on trying, I was not expecting it to happen; I saw how hurt you were the last time and I just wanted to be sure that it would make it through the first three months." When she found out she was knocked up, she did a protection spell so that her little bump would not be seen by the outside world and supernaturals would not detect the heartbeat.

That explained why she was a raging bitch last week. "You should have told me. You shouldn't have had to go through the stress and fear alone."

"But I wasn't alone, I had you and I still have you."

"When you said your gift wasn't much, you were wrong. This means the world to me, you mean everything to me." His eye twinkled with a bright thought. "I bet it's going to be a gorgeous girl with green eyes just like you, she's going to be spoilt rotten."

"Oh hell no, we won't be raising brats and I want a boy."

"It has to be a girl."

"But I want a boy." She argued. They both went back and forth reveling in the wonderful chaos, taking joy in the fact that regardless of their child's gender, he or she would be loved. But for now, they would be, just be.

**The end**

* * *

**KG The Woman/BB The Character **

Okay something happened, I just had to get this off my chest and express my frustrations a bit, bear with me.

I was lurking on tumblr during the week only to see some individuals ganging up and putting KG on blast for wanting Bamon or wanting to work with other characters outside Jeremy. It's understandable that those fans were looking out for their ships, however, why can't they understand that performers don't like to be relegated to one role. Working with other casts/characters good or bad challenges them to flex their abilities and perhaps step out of their comfort zone.

Let's be honest here, how much screen time did BB/KG get this season? I don't know but if I were to take a good guess, I would dare to say it didn't get any better from the past seasons and whether people will admit it or not, a Bamon storyline **might** give Bonnie more visibility since Damon's a main character.

From the gifs I saw all season long on tumblr, what has Bonnie done differently this season? She kissed Jeremy, she babysat Elena, she suffered in silence, she got pushed around and she called it all a gift; how have those things been any different from what she did last season, or the season before that?

Fans have the right to have opinions, but those opinions do not have the right to overtake the actress's personal wish for change. Stagnation is boring, stagnation is frustrating, stagnation limits people and Bonnie's role and romance has been stagnant since season two. A lot of fans are working adults and from time to time, adults often want something different but ultimately have to do what the boss says. At the end of the day, the materialization of Bamon is not up to KG, it's up to the writers; KG is simply the employee who has to go along with the plot.

KG has been pretty respectful and open to all potential ships, that said, there's a limit to the insult a human being can take in the name of being an actress. Entertainers are people with feelings and personal goals. Just because they are in the public eye or because the internet has provided the human race with a direct source of communication does not mean it's fine to demean them for their desires or send death threats. If a fan can throw shit at an actress, it's only fair that the fan should get some shit splatter to blow back in his or her direction when the actress involved defends herself.

When a job makes one unhappy, you either stick with it and hope for the best or quit to find a new one but common sense would tell people not shit where they eat until they can get a better platter of food elsewhere. Do you think KG doesn't know that her character gets shitted on than most other characters? She knows but in this situation, she has to do her job because she under contract and it's not like producers and director are knocking down her door to give her roles. We all know how difficult it is for POC to get jobs in Hollywood.

As of the so call 'impressionable fans' who are beginning to let real life bleed into a tv show and it's characters please do tell, how impressionable were they when Bonnie died for her boyfriend? How many of them would they die for their significant others?

How impressionable were they when Jerry boy kissed Casper the ghost? Have they gone around and kissed their exs while in a new relationship?

Some fans claim that KG advocates abuse amongst other things, yet some of them have turned around and done the same to her, even sending death threats, in what world is that okay?

Have they seen the emotional and physical abuse that Bonnie has suffered? While Bonnie is being pushed around like a toolbox being used to fix everyone except herself, have these 'impressionable fans' allowed their friends to push them around?

Bonnie has lit Damon on fire because she was angry with him, have they lit others on fire due to anger?

Let's see, Bonnie desiccated Klaus, will these fans find a way to turn themselves into witches so they can desiccate imaginary vamps?

Bonnie is probably the most moral individual on the show but there are enough sins to go around these characters. Bonnie has not directly killed any characters yet, however her actions based on the love she has for her friends has facilitated the death of a few characters. In real life that would be an accessory to murder. If these fans were so impressionable, why are they not committing crimes that would land them in jail for the love of their friends?

In this case, being impressionable is just a pretext of not wanting a ship to sail. There's the thing, chemistry is subjective and fans don't really need a reason to like a ship neither do they need reasons not to like a ship. Sometimes people just don't gravitate toward a celebrity, character or ship just because-. At the same token, why are they going out of their way to trash the real people portraying those characters.

As fans, it's okay to walk away, it's okay to be mad about a character's treatment. Yes, I stopped watching. No, it wasn't due Bamon not happening, I went into this show knowing that the possibility of Bamon was slim to none. As a Bonnie fan, I taught myself how to go cold turkey and purge myself from the tv addiction that use to be VD, I just couldn't deal with the supper glue they used to seal her mouth and prevent her from standing up for herself.

The choice to support or withhold support from an entertainer or a character is a fan's prerogative but what isn't cool is for people to attack this woman because she has an opinion or because she wants something different that could possibly provide more visibility for her.

We have been stuck with same sour Jeremy lemonade for the past million seasons and I can say that the Gilberts have benefited from been attached to Bonnie. She has been their plot device for ages but what has Bonnie gained from this relationship? I'm not saying Bamon on tv will be any better because we can all take a wild guess on how it will end in the hands of Julie Plec. Actually the idea of pairing them together on tv frightens me but then I realized the writers have already dragged Bonnie through the filth by stripping her of her self-worth and backbone all in the name of sisterhood, friendship and love that is not properly reciprocated, I don't think it can get worse.

Do I despise Elena? Yes, her selfishness rubs me off the wrong way. Do I like Damon? Yes, nevertheless, I don't give him a pass because sometimes, he just ain't shit and his recklessness pisses me off. Do I love Bonnie? Yes, at the same time, some of her actions such as her blind loyalty and lack of self-preservation leaves me scratching my head. I have become indifferent to Tyler, Caroline and Matt whilst learning to tolerate Stefan. Most of the supporting even main characters are just puns to further Elena's story. The past, present and future lay in the writers hands, why do fans go guns blazing on actors/actresses?

Above all ships and characters, I'm Bonnie Bennett fan first then I'm a multi-shipper second, heck I will ship Bonnie with daggers, coffins and a bottle of brandy if they have chemistry and if they would bring her more screen time. Bamon has always been my ship of choice, nonetheless, I gave Beremy a chance in hopes that maybe it will be something amazing for her.

Beremy was nice at certain times but this horse has been ridden to ground and this horse has collapsed. Bonnie is panting for breath as a character and Jeremy doesn't have enough oxygen to sustain himself, he's actually starting to suck up all the air around her. What has he actually offered her this season? A dick, heck we don't even know if it's a good dick because good ole Bonnie won't fuss about anything. **Repeat after me,** Bonnie can get dick anywhere else and if push comes to shove, she could get herself a vibrator.

I'm a KG fan first and Bonnie fan second, I will always hope for the best for her even when I have a different opinion from what she wants or does. Ship or no ship, what I want is for Bonnie to have character development as an individual, will tv Bamon make it happen? I don't know but what I know is that her unending character assassination offends me. I have tried to love Beremy together and they can be cute, I'm just not passionate about them.

Now as a Bamon fan I put up with Beremy and other ships for so long, perhaps it's time for others to put up with the possibility of Bamon. Even if they can't come to terms with the possibility of Bamon, that doesn't make it okay to attack KG, she's a real person. It's not okay to call her names or insinuate that she's humping her co-actor's/Damon's leg. Not cool.

Degrading her for having having a mind of her own and wanting change is not okay.

Attacking her to the point where she deleted her tumblr account is not okay.

Sending her death threats is not okay.

Blaming her person for a portrayed character's possible action is not okay.

If some folks are acting out now, one can only imagine the flack she would get if Bamon were to be canon.

Normally this is where I would apologize if I had offended anyone, but not today, just not today. If anyone is offended right now, perhaps it should be because we live in world where some folks think it's okay to tear real people down just because they can hide behind a keyboard. While it is said that actors are supposed to have thick skin to be in this business, it doesn't mean that people of the human race should fail to exercise the act of respect with others. As people, shouldn't we extend common decency that we would want to others?

Thanks for reading, hope it didn't take too much of your time. I'm not on twitter or any social network but if you are, I hope you can send her words of encouragement.


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